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Devious Collection 5 by tolkien125


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Zenith: Chapter 1 by TheDescendantofKehAn Zenith: Chapter 1 by TheDescendantofKehAn

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Once upon a time, Spike went for a walk.

While on his walk, he was judged by an ancient alicorn, lodged with griffons, parlayed with air pirates, charmed a maiden of a mystical race, and dealt with the scourges of hate, fear, and racism while deliberately drawing the armies of myriad nations to the brink of global war.

Once upon a time, Spike went for a walk, and did all of this so that he could keep a promise to the one that meant the most to him... Twilight Sparkle.


Click here to find the other chapters of Zenith!

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(C) Hasbro Studios, used in parody in satire with respect to copyright.
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:iconthecoolboo:
Thecoolboo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013

A somber opening, Spike's loyalty is truly unweaving. He guarded over his friend like a precious jewel. Spike's retelling of their venture lightened the mood. I wonder what the Statue Symbolized I wish to know so badly, I ask for a hint. Then the question about Twilight's mortality, well she become like the alicorns before her goddess of untold powers.

 

Though you story writing skills are great you seem to have a bit stale dialogue in this chapter. Really is fine once or twice but by the fourth it gets old. Hopefully this won't be a common thing.

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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The statue only symbolized whatever it needed to symbolize to keep the reader engaged.;)

It is troubling to hear you say that, as it is a very important aspect of any story. I hope that you see it improving as you read the rest of the story.
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:icon10thdoctorspiritclub:
10thdoctorspiritclub Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Your fanfics are brilliant! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for saying so!:)
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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
is this on FIMfiction? 
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, it is, and I'm actually doing a better job of updating it there.

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:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks a bunch. you read my mind with giving me a link. 
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I've got ya covered!;)
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:iconwhisperer-of-winds:
Whisperer-of-Winds Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Professional Writer
well done indeed with this. I certainly was waiting for this chapter to be published. language was not easy, though, but I kept up ^_^
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:iconthedescendantofkehan:
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very glad that you enjoyed it!:)

I look forward to your thoughts on the rest of the story!
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