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This work of fan fiction contains characters, ideas, situations, and places found in the Hasbro Studios series "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". No infringement of copyright is implied by this work of satire and parody, and this work is meant as a celebration of the people involved in the creation, development, and production of the series.

That's How the Accursed Cookies Crumble

Written by The Descendant

Chapter 1

"Dear Princess Celestia,

As requested when you gave me permission to use the Frames of Vision enchantments, I have enclosed a narrative of how they were used.

My dear friend Pinkie Pie is a lovely soul, and her buoyant spirit has seen us through much. Yet, as the day of pranks drew near her close confidants, one in particular, and I grew a conspiracy…"

The glorious sun that Celestia broke across the sky that morning was almost as vivid as the devilish smile that Pinkie Pie wore as she awoke in the cascading rays.

"Oh," she began, singing along with a spontaneous tune in her head, "A day of pranks, a day of jokes…a day for tricking lots of folks…"

She sang this tune as she danced a little hornpipe around Gummy, the alligator watching her as she spun in circles around him. As he looked on she made ready for the day in her little bathroom.

She sang the song as she did her chores, bouncing from one end of Sugarcube Corner to the other, the Cake family looking on in happy acceptance of her infectious cheer.

She sang it, almost with manic glee, as she waited on customers, imagining the immense trebuchet that she and Dash were soon to build. A great vast smile crossed her face as she imagined the whole of Ponyville under a deluge of 2,467 day-old custard doughnuts.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Mister and Misses Cake?" she asked, bouncing in place.

"No dear, you go ahead…I don't know what your up to, but please make sure that there's not too much property damage," said Mrs. Cake with a smile, her husband leaning across the countertop, nodding his head.

With that there came a knock on the door, one that grew into a series of worried poundings.

"Oh, Dashie and I are off to prank! Sending doughnuts through the air with one big yank," she sang as she bounded to answer the door, expecting Rainbow Dash to be there, awaiting her.

Instead, as she opened it, her wide grin was instead met with a half-ton safe that thudded to the floor in front of her. Soon it was followed by the strained and terrified faces of Big Mac, Blues, and Caramel…each straining to push it through the shop to the stairs beyond.

"Huh, imagine that," answered Pinkie Pie, watching them progress across the store, her eyebrows arching.

"Don't just stand 'round gawkin'!" cried a familiar voice. Pinkie looked up to see Applejack, her face a picture of concern. "C'mon, help us push it up to yer' room!"

"Oh, okay!" she said, throwing her weight into the effort, baffled expressions falling over the faces of the Cake family as the visitors heaved it along. Soon they had reached her small sitting room, and as the boys huffed and puffed Applejack wiped sweat from her brow.

As they made their way back downstairs and out into the street beyond Pinkie, her usual bubbly self, spoke, "Wow, that sure was hard work! We did our best though, and now the safe is in my room where…it's…safe…"

At once her expression fell, and with a whiny a look of confusion fell over her. "Ummm…why did we do that?"

" 'Cause yer' the only one I 'kin trust with the cursed cookies."

"Oh, of course! That makes sense," said Pinkie, her face turning back to her brightly lit demeanor, but just as quickly fading again into shock, "Wait…what?"

"Near as we can figure, somepony put a curse on a box of cookies, and it got delivered to us at Sweet Apple Acres!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" began Pinkie, drawing a deep breath, an expression across her face like she was about to launch into song. That all faded at once, and she spoke in a small voice, "No."

"Pardon?" said Applejack, a concerned look crossing her face.

"C'mon A.J.!" said Pinkie, smiling, "You know that I know what today is, and that today being what it is that what you are doing is probably related to this day, and that I'm really into this day, so I can see pretty clearly what your doing is about today…"

Pinkie leaned in close, winking at Applejack, expecting an admission.

"Errr," said A.J., looking back to Big Mac, Caramel, and Blues, the stallions shrugging their shoulders in unison, "What ya' drivin' at?"

"Oh!" began Pinkie, launching into the song that had been repeating in her head for hours, "A day of pranks, a day of jokes…a day for tricking lots of folks…"

Pinkie was just about to the part of the song where, in her head, a shower of rubber chickens was descending around her. It was, however, abruptly ended when she was thrust from her theatrics by the force of Applejack tackling her to the ground.

"Now lookie here!" said Applejack, her face a tortured canvas, "I know that ya' know what today is, and that I know that I couldn't put one over on ya' by mah lonesome! I couldn't even do it with all the colts here at mah side! You know that…"

Pinkie's startled expression fell down into one of deep concern as she looked up to where Applejack stood over her. As she watched Applejack's face became filled with concern, perhaps even fear. Applejack looked down to her, and as though she just realized that she had the other earth pony pinned she self-consciously backed away, letting Pinkie sit up.

"Errr, sorry," she said, turning away. "Pinkie, I ain't up ta' snuff on pranks and jokes and the like, not to mention bein' at yer' level or Dash's. I wouldn't even dare try somethin' like that on my own. Pinkie, I promise ya'…that safe is full of cookies…and there's magic in 'em…I swear ta' ya'…I need a magic user tah' figure 'em out…and Twilight's off with Rarity, Spike, and Fluttershy…I need yer' help, Pinkie, please…please…"

Pinkie looked to Applejack, saw her head hang low. "A.J., I…" she began, lifting herself.

"If ya' don't believe me, take a gander at Golden Delicious on over there!" implored Applejack, turning back to her.

Pinkie fixed a stallion in her gaze, her eyes mellowing. "Omigosh! You look terrible! You're a disaster! You look awful!"

"Ummm…Pinkie," interjected Applejack, wrinkling her nose, "That's Blues."

Pinkie looked back at the horribly depressed figure of Blues, his ears flopping down, his expression falling. "Oh, sorry," said Pinkie with an apologetic giggle, and then turning to the nearby figure of another stallion. This one was in a full body cast, and seemed to be riding a wheelchair.

"Omigosh! You look terrible! You're a disaster! You look awful! What happened?" she implored.

"Mmmummphr, mummf, um mum mumpherumph!" he said through the thick cast, Pinkie perking up one of her ears, placing it close to where his mouth should be to in order to listen.

"That's terrible! Oh, A.J., I'm so sorry! What do you need me to do?"

"Just don't touch the safe, don't do anything! Just leave 'em there!" said Applejack, motioning back towards the bakery, "Promise me ya' won't!"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" she exclaimed without a moment's hesitation, going through the movements by memory.

She opened her eyes to see the assemblage smiling at her, and as Applejack leaned in for a quick hug the happy expressions returned to their faces.

At that moment there was a flash of wings, and in a burst of wind Rainbow Dash was in their presence.

"Hey!" she stated, looking up and down the scene with a puzzled look, "Pinkie, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, just helping A.J. with some cursed cookies…ready to build the…thing?" replied Pinkie moving from nonchalant to enthusiastic in a heartbeat.

"What?" stated Dash, crossing over to where Applejack stood, "Are you trying to pull a fast one on Pinkie? She's knows what today is and…"

"I know that she knows what today is!" retorted Applejack, "But there really is a box of cursed cookies!"

"Where!" demanded Dash.

"I ain't sayin'!" replied Applejack.

As the stallions watched the two volleyed back and forth as though they were watching a tennis match, and as they argued Pinkie's eyes furrowed.

"Dashie!" she said, popping up between them, "There is a curse! Just look at that horribly disfigured pony over there!"

Applejack and Dash turned towards where Pinkie indicated, but after a moment, Applejack sighed. "Pinkie, that's Blues…again," she said, watching the stallion slump even further into despondency and then canter away, "You mean him."

As Applejack motioned towards where Golden Delicious sat Dash looked at the cast-covered pony and hummed. "Alright, but I've got my eye on you, Applejack! This day is meant for top-notch pranksters like Pinkie and me…mostly me, but a lot of Pinkie, too, so no amateur hour!"

With that Pinkie and Dash went off down a side road, Applejack watching them go.

When they had disappeared from view Applejack giggled. Nodding to the colts she waited for them leave, then headed back into the bakery with a wide smile.

"Thanks, folks!" she said to the Cake's as they opened Pinkie's door for her. With that she sauntered up to the safe, opened it, and let the cookies spill out onto the floor. They hummed with magic, just as she had promised.

Using a pole to open the skylight she waited, watching the blue sky above drift by, feeling the early spring air drift past. At once though the faces of Twilight, Fluttershy, and the three foals replaced that vista.

"C'mon down, the coast is clear!" she called up as two rope ladders clattered down. Fluttershy drifted within, something clenched to her chest, and Twilight's magic flashed her into the room.

"Move quickly now, everyone!" called Twilight, checking on the cookies, her magic spell brightly sparkling. "Okay, crush up the little one there…good job!" she said, watching Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle take turns smashing it to pieces, its magic sputtering as they did do.

There was a small yelp from the bathroom, and Twilight and Applejack startled. They looked to one another, and Applejack called out in alarm, "Shy, you okay?"

"Oh, yes…I'm…fine. I was just a little...little surprised. They are…different than most of my animals…but they're…neat," said the pegasus pony as she exited the bathroom, not one but two alligators held close to her body, rubbing their bellies.

"I kin' hardly tell Gummy from the other!" laughed Applejack, the foals looking on.

"The one we brought from the zoo is darker green…just a touch, and of course," said Twilight, motioning to him. As she did so the new alligator snapped his jaws, showing off rows of teeth. Gummy looked on jealously.

"Okay, we're out of here!" called Twilight, lifting the foals back onto the ladders, Fluttershy gathering up Gummy. "You know what to do, right?" she said, looking to the greener 'gator. He snapped at her with a big smile, and as she giggled she disappeared in a flash of magic, leaving Applejack and the alligator standing before the opened safe, the cookies spread around Pinkie's sitting room.

As the ladders were rolled up and the skylight closed Applejack nodded to the 'gator then went down the stairs, locking the door behind her. Upon reaching the street she nodded at Ditzy Doo as the wall-eyed pony took to the air.

As she did so Applejack laughed again, knowing that there would soon be a discovery…

Rainbow Dash nodded approvingly at their large construct, one that was beginning to take on the appearance, in a certain light, of a trebuchet.

As she did so some movement caught her vigilant eye. As the form of Ditzy Doo coasted overhead Dash baked in the sun, and she looked back to where Pinkie tried with stout resolution to operate a screwdriver.

"Hey," said Dash, wiping away the sweat of the day, "We forgot to bring drinks with us, didn't we?"

"Yup," said Pinkie Pie, desperately trying to balance the screwdriver in her hooves.

"Would you know where to find something to drink?" she asked, seeking shade.

"Oh, sure," answered Pinkie, trying to hold up a screw.

Dash looked at her for a while, her expression dropping. After long moments a dog barked in the distance, and Dash sighed.

"Could you possibly, you know, get some for us?"

"Okay!" said Pinkie as both the screwdriver and screw rolled away, and with bounding strides she turned and made her way towards the bakery, leaving Dash to ponder the use of the mysterious tool.

As Pinkie bounced her way back down the hill the straining figure of Applejack came into view. As Applejack huffed and grunted, Pinkie circled her for a bit, then stopped. "Hey, A.J., you need some help?" she asked, looking down on her struggling friend. 'Thank ya' kindly!" said Applejack, her disposition improving.

At once the saddlebags had fallen over her, and the two made their way back to the bakery. "What's in these bags, A.J.?" she asked, her legs trembling.

"Chains! C'mon!" said Applejack, angling towards the bakery. Soon the two were at the top of the interior stairs, entering Pinkie's room. "I wanna thank ya' for lettin' me keep the cookies here…no idea just how dangerous they could be…" said Applejack, lifting the heavy saddlebags, Pinkie sighing happily as they were removed, "Yup…can't be to careful wit'…the cookies!"

A.J. dropped the saddlebags back onto Pinkie, her fellow earth pony dropping with a surprised yelp. "Pinkie!" accused Applejack, pointing to the safe, the scattered cookies, and the crumbs, "Did you open the safe? Ya' promised me!"

"What? No!" answered Pinkie, struggling to get out from beneath the chains.

"No, I haven't been back here since we left!" Pinkie looked over the scene, shock across her face, then up into Applejack's accusing face. At once she repeated her promise, "Cross my heart," she stated, then "hope to fly," bouncing about, and finally, "stick a cupcake in my eye!"

As she did she produced a cupcake from her private stash, and smeared it across her face, bits sticking in her eyebrows.

Applejack bit her lip, partly in sympathy, but in no small part trying to stifle a giggle. Quickly recovering she implored, "Well how in tarnation did it come open? Who ate the cookie?"

"It looked to be a small one, a sugar cookie," she said, sifting through the crumbled remains that still sparked with magic.

"I don't get it!" said Pinkie, pointing to what she thought was her pet alligator as it appeared in the bathroom door, "It's not like anyone was in here except for Gummy."

As she pointed to him she looked back to Applejack, then at once back to "Gummy". In a dash she had gathered the reptile up. "Gummy!" she giggled, "You're greener! And an adept safecracker, apparently…but mostly greener!"

"Careful!" called Applejack, "He may be cursed!"

"Oh," began Pinkie Pie, singing another song which had welled up within, "The cookie made my Gummy greener, the cookies made him shimmer-sheemer…"

At this line this other alligator had clamped down on her tail, a position she was accustomed to. Yet, as her next line died down, something was different.

"The cookie made…my…Gummy….huh…" she said, her dancing slowing to a standstill. With a confused look she fixed A.J. with a questioning glare.

"Hey, Applejack," she said, "I'm thinking of a word…it's kinda smallish, not really a word…like something you say when…oh…"

"Wow?" guessed Applejack, watching the alligator gnaw on Pinkie's tail.

"No, not as happy…kinda like…when something feels…"

"Ow?" said Applejack, empathizing.

"Yeah!" smiled Pinkie, "Ow!"

"Ow…ow. Ow," she repeated, her expression falling each time. Soon her understanding of the word was revealed as complete. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" she cried, racing around in a circle, Applejack at once trying to help and stifle laughter.

With an audible yank Pinkie pulled the alligator off her tail, and looked into his jaws.

"Gummy!" she said happily. "Your teeth grew back! That's wonderful!"

As she continued her praise she clutched "Gummy" to her and swung him back and forth, his jaws snapping at random intervals, "Now you can eat solid food again! You can go fishing in the pond! You can rend pony flesh from bone!"

"No, wait," she said, her expression falling once more, looking at Applejack with concern, "That last one was bad, right?"

"Real bad!" stated Applejack, putting the cookies back in the box, and closing them within the safe. Soon she was pulling out the chains and wrapping it, snapping thick locks, binding the chains tight. She dropped all the keys into Pinkie's vase, and they rattled around tellingly.

"He's been cursed, Pinkie! No tellin' how bad! We can't act like this is nuttin'! We can't have him getting' into the safe again…I'm…I'm willing to believe that I left it open…sorry to have blamed ya'…"

"No problem…and it all worked out…" said Pinkie, swinging "Gummy" back and forth in her arms, oblivious to how often she was narrowly missing the snapping jaws.

There was a burst of air, and the door flew open. "What worked out?" called an upset looking Rainbow Dash.

"Gummy cracked the safe and ate one of the cursed cookies," she said holding "Gummy" up to Dash, "He was cursed…with greenerness…and dentistry!"

With that "Gummy" hissed at Dash, and the pegasus pony recoiled with a look of shocked horror as the reptile showed off rows of fine white teeth. Quickly recovering she shot an accusing look at Applejack, and then pushed Pinkie out of the room. "Whatever!" called Dash, "I've been out in the sun for an hour working alone waiting for you to come with the drinks!"

"Hey A.J.!" called Pinkie as she went down the stairs, "Put Gummy back in the tub and close the door, he can't get out, and don't worry so much! The 'curse' of those cookies doesn't seem to pack much of punch! I don't see any tentacles or extra eyes or nothin'! Oh, punch! Dash, let's get something to drink…I'm thirsty for some reason…"

As Dash screamed in frustration Applejack chuckled to herself, then turned to a nearby picture frame and spoke, "She don't know half o' what this here 'curse' kin' do, right partners?"

Unknown to Pinkie the cookies alone were not the only accursed object in that room. As Applejack spoke her image and words flew through the pictures in Pinkies room to a distant place. The Frames of Vision curse, a powerful and potentially dangerous one, transmitted these words and images to a suite in the nearby Hotel Sea Biscuit. There vast canvases were arranged, and the oils, paints, and watercolors of their construction danced around, showing off the interior of Pinkie's rooms to an assemblage of more than a dozen ponies, reptiles, and friends, all of whom smiled at Applejack's comment.

As Applejack returned to the suite she looked above the door to the big hoof-painted banner. "Operation: Have Some, Pie!" it read, and she giggled at the name.

"Hey, brother, ya' bring that extra collar with ya'?" she said looking to where Big Mac posed.

"By the door, Sis'," he motioned, but at once he received a reprimand. "Mister Mac!" came a demand, "We simply can't have you moving about! Please stay still and maintain the pose!"

"Sorry Miss Rarity, just assistin' mah sister," he said, returning to his previous posture with a grin. Nearby Golden Delicious was being freed of the cast, sighing with relief as he was. "What did you tell Pinkie?" asked Snips as Snails finished chipping away at the enclosure. "Couldn't think of nothin' so I just went 'Mmmummphr, mummf, um mum mumpherumph!', and she applied her own meanin'!" laughed the large earth pony.

Applejack retrieved her brother's spare horse collar and brought it over to where a herd of ponies worked around another alligator, this one much adult.

"You're doing…so, so…well!" said Fluttershy, calming the big reptile as paint flew around. Applejack giggled as she watched Gummy, the real Gummy, swing from the pegasus pony's tail.

Applejack looked up as some magic flashed across the room, and from where Rarity had been working emerged a massive wig that crossed towards the group. Making room Applejack pranced over to where Twilight and the C.M.C. lay before the canvases. As they gazed over the contents Applejack nuzzled her little sister and her friends and then slid beside Twilight.

"So far so good!" said Applejack, winking at the unicorn. "You've done excellent," said Twilight, looking up from one big painting, one in which the "Gummy" could be seen. Each time he blinked or swayed the paints swirled, capturing the scene, the foals making excited sounds each time.

Soon the patter of clawed feet could be heard, and the five looked up to Spike. "Twi," he said with a martial look, "We're ready. We're good to go."

"Okay everyone!" called Twilight, standing, looking to the group. As she did so she caught sight of the bigger 'gator, and laughed a bit, but soon recovered. "'Operation: Have Some, Pie!' Second Phase! Move!"

There was a flurry of movement, the suite emptying in moments, startled guests of the Hotel Sea Biscuit getting some small glimpse into the working of the prank as the conspirators raced down the stairs. More than a few guessed that it had something to do with the date and holiday it involved.

Returning to the canvas Twilight shimmied back to her sentinel post and watched as the hurried crew burst into Pinkie's apartment, aided by the Cake's, and put the next iteration of the scene in order.

Applejack though stood at one of the many windows of the suite, taking deep breaths. "Oh, Applejack!" called Rarity, giggling at what the canvas revealed, "They're on their way back!"

As Applejack turned to go out the door whistles and huzzahs reached her from all within, and with a wink she headed down the grand staircase, through the lobby and out into Ponyville's streets. In a nearby alley she found the wagon, and began to pull. Reaching the main street she nodded to Gramps as he made his way by, his old rickety cart weaving along behind.

Awhile later he passed by where Dash and Pinkie continued their labors, bringing their trebuchet to completeness.

"Alright," spoke Dash, momentarily distracted by the squeaking of the cart, "We need to rig up the counterweight…where's the counterweight?"

"I dunno…all I had was that big basket you gave me," said Pinkie, staring aghast at a hammer.

"Pinkie," said Dash with an audible sigh, noting that Pinkie still had cupcake frosting in her eyelashes, "The basket is the counterweight."

"Well then why didn't you just say 'the basket'?" asked Pinkie, turning to Dash, watching the pegasus place her face in her hoof.

"Please go get the basket," said Dash without lifting her head.

"Okay!" said Pinkie, and with that she bounded off toward town.

"Oh, today's a day of pranks, a day of jokes…a day for pranking lots of folks…" she began once more, lost in her own little prank-fueled world, her eyes closed and singing happily in tune with the song in her head.

Yet, once again, her song was interrupted mid-stanza…this time by the rude interjection of a vast slab of steel into her personal space.

"Heya, Pinkie!" said Applejack, looking down to where Pinkie Pie lay in a semi-conscious state, "Glad yer' here! Ya' can help me pull this here shieldin'…cart's getting' a mite heavy."

It may have been her immense natural energy feeding her excitement on this day of days, or perhaps the massive head trauma, but before Pinkie knew what had happened she found herself once again standing in her own sitting room.

Having helped carry the metal case up the stairs she fought for breath. With heaving gasps she struggled to ask, "Why…why did, why did…we carry this thing up…the stairs?"

"Why ta' help keep the cookies all locked…away," began Applejack, smiling and pointing to the safe. Yet, with a double take she looked back and saw it wide open and its contents strewn about. "The cookies!"

Pinkie, who had been lying on top of the metal case and recovering from her exertions, yelped with surprised and rolled off at Applejack's alarm. Running beside her friend she looked on aghast, "But…the cookies," she began pointing to the survivors and the mountain of crumbs, "were in the safe," she said gesticulating wildly at its wide open door, "and it was wrapped in the chains!" she said, dancing about the heap of metal links.

"Pinkie," said Applejack, a hurt expression crossing her face, "You didn't open the safe...did you?"

"Aw!" gasped Pinkie, stopping mid step, seemingly hanging in the air, "Never! Cross my heart," she said, placing a mark across her chest, "hope to fly," she repeated, bouncing on her sofa towards the skylight, "stick a cupcake in my eye!" she finished, smearing cupcakes from her now depleting reserve in both her eyes.

As she opened them she saw Applejack biting her lip, then as frosting dripped to the floor the other earth pony spoke, "So…it must'a been Gummy! Again!"

"But how?" asked Pinkie, blinking cupcake crumbs out of her vision.

"Probably these here bolt cutters," said A.J., holding up a suspiciously obvious pair of the implements, "Looks like he ate the chocolate chunk cookies…those are Big Mac's favorites…"

"But, but…where would he get bolt cutters?" said Pinkie, looking over the scene.

"Don't be muddlin' the issue! You get over there and call him out on this, it ain't no laughin' matter!" said Applejack in a serious tone. Inside her own mind, though, she was laughing hysterically and rolling on the floor.

She wasn't the only one given over to fits of laughter, and in the distant suite in the hotel a great mass of ponies and reptiles looked on through the numerous paintings as Pinkie went to the bathroom door and, in a very confused tone, spoke, "Gummy…I'm disappointed…in you? I think. I'm coming in."

As she opened the door she looked to the tub. After a second of bewilderment her eyes went wide, and she whinnied in surprise.

In the hotel, where they knew what she had just seen, the masses broke down into hysterics. Applejack, knowing as well, pretended to be putting the cookies back. She hid her face in the safe as her stifled laughter made her convulse.

"Hey, A.J.," said Pinkie in a weak tone, "You said that those were Big Mac's favorites right?"

"Errr, yes," replied Applejack.

"That…that makes sense. In context," said Pinkie, staring at her tub. Silence reigned for all of about five seconds, and then, with a fantastic leap into the air and a massive scream Pinkie ran back to Applejack, grabbed her up, and pulled her into the bathroom.

"Applemac...err, Jackummy, the big Jack has the Gummy of my Mac! No, the gummigator is…Maclejack! Look…my mactile is an allipony! It's…it's, it's…a Macigator!" gesticulated Pinkie wildly, pointing over and over to the tub.

There, in the dry tub, sat a massive adult alligator. Mostly. It was rather crimson, and had, apparently and unusually for a reptile, an orange mane.  Its horse collar and green eyes were very, very, very reminiscent of Applejack's big brother. It's claws were even the same color of Big Mac's hooves.

As Pinkie Pie ran around her bathroom in a small circle screaming, waving her forelegs wildly, Applejack fought a determined battle to keep from bursting out laughing. In the hotel they had no such qualms, and the light fixtures shook in resonance with the laughter of the multitude as they stared at the flowing paintings.

Soon though Spike was running among the group, quieting them, clutching something small in his clawed hand. "Alright," said Twilight, wiping a tear from her eye, "You have to lean in close, you'll know when…"

With that Big Mac, smiling at his reptilian doppelganger, readied himself.

Back in Pinkie's rooms above the bakery she had quieted and calmed some. She now merely cantered around in a circle and babbled incoherently, slowing at intervals to stare at "Gummy Mac", then picking up her pace and mumbling some more.

Applejack went back out and prepared the safe once more, wanting some place to hide her face if she burst out laughing. "I told ya'," she pretended to scold, "they ain't ta' be messed with!"

"I gotta think, I gotta think, I gotta think…" said Pinkie, standing in the bathroom doorway, bouncing in place, one eye blinking reflexively.

"Ain't no thinkin' ta' be done," said Applejack, "We gotta leave 'em alone until Twi gets back from wherever she is…"

"No, wait, we…we…okay, so…he turned into Big Mac when he ate one of Mac's favorites, so…if I gave him one that might be his favorite…" she said, hopping around in a tight circle.

"No!" yelled Applejack, "No! No more touchin' the cookies!"

"But…that makes sense, right?" said Pinkie, imploring Applejack, receiving a stern look in reply. Pinkie turned back to the bathroom, looking over "Gummy Mac" once more. "That makes sense though…right? Right?" she asked no one in particular.

"E'yup," answered the alligator.

Applejack, having looked up at exactly the right moment, caught Pinkie's reaction in the mirror. Her expression had the appearance, she imagined, like somepony whom whilst at the heights of sensual rapture found themselves being hit by a runaway hay cart.

At that moment the middle balloon on Pinkie's cutie mark popped and sailed around her flanks with an indecent sound, finally settling between her cupcake encrusted eyes.

Applejack dived back into the safe in hopes of avoiding the detection of her massive spasms of encapsulated laughter. At the hotel the suite rocked with laughter as Twilight called, "I can fix that, I can fix that!" Big Mac, nodding to all around him with a smile, received their praise for his vocal acting.

Applejack had just regained control of her faculties and placed the metal shielding around the safe when Rainbow Dash appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Now what?" she asked in an angry tone, listening to the distant din. "See fer' yerself," motioned Applejack.

"Pinkie! Pinkie!" said Dash, approaching the bathroom, watching as Pinkie circled. "Pinkie…what…are…you…going…on…about?" said Dash, speaking one word each time Pinkie ran past.

Pinkie stopped mid-scream, balancing on one hoof, and pointed to the tub. Silence once more reigned, for about five seconds, and then Dash joined Pinkie in the circling cacophony, both ponies running around the bathroom in frantic ovals.

Dash at once stopped dead, and she looked back to see Applejack with her tail in her mouth. "If ya' ain't gonna offer helpful solutions to the conditions which prevail I, respectfully, suggest ya' make yerself scarce!" she volunteered.

"Fine!" replied Dash, winging her way out of the bathroom in a flurry of wind, but returning almost instantly with the vast basket that made up the counterweight of their trebuchet.

"We have work to do anyway!" she retorted, scooping up Pinkie. Pinkie scarcely noticed, and instead emitted a dainty little scream, a tiny and constant "Aaaaaaaahhhh…" which was perhaps more Fluttershinian in nature.

Dash placed her in the basket, and with a struggle, lifted her through the skylight, Pinkie's tiny scream fading into the distance.

"Hot dang!" said Applejack, watching them go, "This is just startin' to get good."

She then made her way down the steps and back to the hotel, awaiting happily the next act in the saga of this day of pranks.
"That's How the Accursed Cookies Crumble"

"Oh," sings Pinkie Pie, "Today's a day of laughs, a day of jokes...a day for pranking lots of folks!"

Yet an implore from Applejack keeps Pinkie from helping Rainbow Dash with their planned prank. As a conspiracy is revealed Pinkie Pie's friends try their best to put one over on the greatest prankster in Equestria...but will Dash spoil it?

Find all of the chapters of "That's How the Accursed Cookies Crumble" by following this link!

(C) Hasbro Studios, used in parody in satire with respect to copyright.
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RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
{ ~ }

I'm no good at ASCII art... but here's a birthday cupcake that i didn't get a chance to give Sew!

Feels appropriate to have, what with Pinkie Pie's prevalence in this pastry-based predicament.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's close enough, and the story knows what meant!;)
RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think this is wildly out of character for most of the cast, and I don't see Applejack as a pranker.

Also, to my knowledge, Cutie Marks are alone in that they are NEVER used as a sight gag in such a slapstick manner. Pinkie Pie's "Pinky Sense" should probably have kicked in at some point, and I see her taking these in far more stride than she does.

I don't understand: Is the alligator Big Mac dressed up, or is Big Mac just lending his voice to a painted alligator?

I did love the appearance of Blues, and I personally think a "Painted Blue" should follow one of Pinky's accidental insults.

Also: Do you really think Pinky would take this well? I mean think of how Discord broke her: People laughing at her confusion. The "you've been punked" aspect of the whole thing seems mean-spirited, even IF Pinky is a prankster most years. I mean, it BROKE her CUTIE MARK. Do they see nothing wrong with that? As of this chapter, I do not like this piece at all, i'm afraid.

2/5, and .5 of that was just to see Blues.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This story predates Tangled Up in Blues by nearly two months. It predates Discord by more than five months.

The context of this story is that it was written for a contest being hosted on Equestria Daily. I believe that it was announced and then we had about three days to write.

I do not deny that this is not my strongest story. It was written in a remarkably brief period of time. My only thought at the time was, "Everybody else is going to be writing stories where Pinkie is pulling the pranks, so I'll write one where she thinks she'd doing the pranking, but she's actually the mark."

I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy it. I never did any of these gags to be mean to Pinkie, that's not me.
RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You look too deeply, I simply find I cannot, in this case, console the actions of the characters with their personality on-screen - but only in my opinion. They very well could be capable of doing such things, but it struck me as outside the realm of their character.

I mean, would you want to prank Pinkie after seeing her go complete insane for no apparent reason? Think about "Party of One" from Rainbow Dash's perspective: One party missed and Pinkie Pie is a complete wreck, talking to flour and rocks and turnips and thinking all her friends betrayed her. Rainbow may be dense, but that would scare me out of attempting to pull something over Pinky that made her even slightly upset.

You made it clear in-story Pinkie took it in stride. For whatever reason I see the worst case scenario: Pinkie feels her friends are laughing at her and goes nuts again. For that reason my mind is saying "I know how it DID end, but the ending doesn't seem true to her reactions up to this point".

Pinkie is unscathed, indeed, but the pranking went too far when she became upset. At that point I drew a line and said "this is where Pinkie would get upset at the prank rather than laugh". In the show, we haven't ever SEEN Pinkie react to a prank that actually upset her. She is extremely needy, and relentless. "A Friend in Deed" shows she is highly averse to causing pain too: She was broken when she hurt the poor mule; i can't imagine how much that would have affected her with Applejack (jokingly) accusing her of taking the (cursed) cookies.

Fluttershy laughing at the expense of Pinkie's reaction also struck me as very odd: She does not often laugh as it is, much less laugh at one's express pain.

It was well-written from a technical standpoint, and if they were original characters I would definitely rate it much higher (3.0-4.0 range)
but the Out of character moments just killed it.

Don't be upset, i have nothing against you: You are probably the best Fic writer i've read. My own experience just made this particular tale not perform as well. Also, I try to avoid taking into account "why" you wrote something, as that has little bearing on how good it is. The exception being your piece with Celestia, in which the why was the description.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I'm not upset, and I'm sorry if my reply seemed to indicate that. I value all of the feedback I receive, positive or negative, when it is applied as constructive criticism. You've certainly been giving me that!:)
RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I will say the "Ow" part was funny, and I respect that you avoided using cameras. Big Mac was pretty good, but isn't Golden Delicious extended family? Why is he here?
dwreanchinotan Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011
i can just imagine the alligator going "e'yup", hilarious
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, I knew that one was going in the second I pictured it...thanks!:)
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Big thanks go out to the Anon on Equestria Daily who pointed out some technical errors. I'd love to have thanked you there, but my computer doesn't like posting in blogs.:(
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