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Heart of the Mountain

Written by The Descendant

Chapter 3: "Shadowed Promises"

"Twilight!" he screamed, running forward, the princesses startling, awakening from their transcendent arias. "No," cried Celestia, "No!"

Twilight Sparkle had not wanted to look up, had wanted to keep bowing to the departing lord. Yet, at once she ventured a glance as he slipped through. As soon as he did she felt something pull at her, something grab at her from beyond the gate.

She had closed her eyes, had looked down to the floor, remembering her promise. She would do nothing; touch nothing, without the permission of the princesses.

When the two had begun to sing it had strengthened her, and she put the feeling aside. As the gates had started to swing shut the voices began again, and she sensed with her magic something powerful, something she was meant to dread…

…yet something so inviting.

Her eyes flashed open, almost against her own will. She shut them, but before she had they caught a glimpse of something beyond the gate, a swirling white cloud that settled down into a cascading tunnel…one that called to her, drew her within…

"No, no…" she told herself, "They told me not to, not to…"

And with that she had opened her eyes again, and saw the blackness beyond the gate. As she had done so it no longer became a question of whether she had wanted to or not…

Her body lifted around her, and she had felt herself walking, walking wordlessly past the singing princesses, past the enchanted Spike, and up to the gate. As she crossed the sill something buffeted her, and inside her own mind Twilight fought to pull back, but her body would not restrain itself.

Before her the onyx expanse was retreating into clouds, and she felt her hoof lift, and she placed it there…

She was falling through the sky! No, not falling…drifting…the vapors of the clouds drifting around her.

Soon the green expanse of the world opened before her…and there was Canterlot. It was not the throne city she knew…it was smaller, somehow younger, and it shone with a greater light.

She felt herself sweeping over it, looking at it over the rooftops of the palace.

There on the common, the same vast garden space she had looked on from her balcony, a family played. Two large proud alicorns were there, and seven foals, all playing on the grass, racing to one another, and calling to each other. The stallion was there, and two of the foals, one blue and black, the other white and pink, touched her heart with their joy…and she knew them…

The clouds shifted again and Canterlot disappeared.

She was raised up and flew across Equestria, in her mind she saw the lands she knew racing away beneath her. Soon she faced young mountains with jagged peaks.

There was a wheel in the sky, a wheel of time, and it was drawing backwards. There was a great crack of thunder, and a storm and a fire upon the mountains. Her mind raced her to that place…and as she watched an alicorn descended from the heavens and his hooves cracked the mountain, and a pass through it was cleft.

Twilight looked upon the alicorn. He was proud, strong, young. She knew then that it was the same stallion she had beheld not a minute before.

He raised his head to the swirling sky and neighed, a fearsome animal sound. The sound echoed down across the land and out into the young country beyond, and the heavens delivered another alicorn into the world, a mare.

The wheel in the sky flew backwards more, and Twilight saw the world from afar, as though she were a passing comet, or a distant moon.

And as she did the world was cracked, it buckled. It was opened, as a book opens, and into it were placed shards of wood and earth, and so she watched Equestria being born.

The wheel turned, and forward she went, back to the world. Now down the mountains that border Equestria she saw ponies arriving…earth ponies strong and industrious. Pegasus ponies, proud and diligent, winged their way down the slopes. Finally her own race, the magical and contemplative unicorns, their hooves making uncertain steps down the mountainside.

Now she was back in Canterlot, the larger, older Canterlot she remembers…yet not so old. Here she saw her teacher, yet younger, not yet so filled with wisdom or light. Luna was with her, but in the larger ennobled form she had before she was reduced.

They were so sad…they were the only alicorns in the city.

Suddenly all was black, and Twilight heard the sounds of a terrible battle, one fought with magic. The sounds of two magical beings in the throws of a desperate battle crashed through her mind, and the harsh cries of wounded mares echoing through the dark joined the cacophony.

The scene lifted again, and her mentor was alone. Celestia in her full glory sat alone on the familiar throne within the palace…weeping, crying unabashedly.

Suddenly Twilight was lifted high above Equestria, so high that she could see all of it, all of it she could imagine and more. All of the places she knew, places she'd visited, places she knew only by name…all of Equestria spread out before her in a panorama of beauty and life.

Yet, as she looked on in wonder something moved. From beyond the borders of Equestria something rose up…swirling forms.

As Twilight looked on intruders that she could neither name nor understand spoiled the magic of the mountain.

"It is a blasphemy," said three voices in unison, shocking Twilight out of her contemplation, "and we hate it, but we will suffer it to exist, Twilight Sparkle, if you will give us your strength."

"What...what, who are you?" she answers.

"If you will bow to us, you can reign over your beloved Equestria," said the three voices, "and we will have the rest."

"What, no…my Majesty…" said Twilight, regaining herself.

"Usurpers!" called the three, "We will not suffer the alicorns! Though, we will give you…"

"No, no I'll not betray…" called Twilight.

"Yes, yes you will, bow to us…" spoke the three voices in sweet tones.

"No, I'm loyal to Celestia, I won't…" she gasped.

"Yes, dear, yes you will…" they replied.

That is what Spike saw her mouthing as he ran to her, saw the battle she was fighting, but could not hear the words.

As Spike jumped over the sill of the gate something struck at him, something pulled at his heart and mind. His heart though was set on Twilight, and his mind on his task, and the pull passed.

"Twi, Twi!" he implored, pulling her tail. As she fell free of the onyx surface the gates came closer to closing. As he did so he thought he heard wails erupt from beyond the blackness of the onyx, but he quickly put it aside, trying to shove or push her free of the gates.

Twilight could not move, could only breathe hard, her eyes distant, her mind falling into the darkness of shock. "Twi!" called the little dragon, placing his hands on either side of her face, "Twi you have to get up, you have to run, walk…canter…teleport! Anything!" he pleaded. Yet, the unicorn did not move, could not move.

"I need help, please!" called the little dragon as the princesses galloped up to the very edge of the sill, then stopped. "Please!" he called again.

"It is beyond us to cross the sill!" answered Luna, her own face showing fear and confusion.

"What do I do?!" called Spike, trying still to push, pull, lift Twilight beyond the closing gate. Its two wings were now less far apart than the breadth of the trunk of the Ponyville library.

There was a flash of magic, and several spells exploded uselessly around him, Spike trying to shield his eyes and Twilight's as well. When he opened them the two were still within the gate. He looked to the princesses again; saw that between them they were charging one last spell. The two opened their eyes, and from their horns flashed a massive arc of magic, framed by the closing gate.

As it reached them Spike looked down to Twilight. She was now enveloped in blue flame, but instead of heat he felt coolness crossing his scales. As he watched the flames were absorbed into Twilight, filling her body.

"Spike," came the calm voice of Celestia, "You must breathe your fire upon her."

"But," he said, looking to the older sister. In her face he saw certainty, and he at once took a deep breath.

"Forgive me," he thought, and consigned his dearest friend to the green flames.

He did not dare open his eyes until he knew that her body had burnt away, until his flames splashed across the floor in long cords.

He opened his eyes in time to see her solidify, to see her come thudding down next to Celestia and Luna, beyond the sill and doors of the closing gate.

At once Twilight let out a scream of horrific pain, an awful sound that shred his heart to hear, and she thrashed about on the stones.

Spike covered his mouth with his hands, reeled in the horror of what he had done. He took a step back from the awful scene that played out beyond the narrowing gate…and at once his spines touched the black onyx.

"Spike," called three voices in unison, "See what we would show you…"

Into Spike's mind came a vision of a massive and powerful dragon, his talons sharp, and his scales huge and terrible.

Beneath him was piled a hoard of gold and jewels and gilded weapons of amounts and quantity that he could not start to contemplate. It filled the palace of Canterlot; it spilled out into the streets.

Before the dragon bowed all of the living creatures Spike had ever beheld, from the massive and terrifying hydra down to the tiny, yet reviled, Angel the bunny.

In front of the animals and birds, at the forefront of the assembly, knelt the ponies, cowering before the dragon. Here knelt all of the ponies he had met, and many he could not even name. Good ponies, Big Mac, Applebloom, Snips, Snails, Ditzy, all cowered before the dragon, fearful and despondent. In front of them knelt his friends, Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy…they all knelt there.

And beneath the dragon, the crushed and broken forms of the Two Sisters lay in disgusting repose, unmoving.

Spike was sickened by it…disgusted.

"Why…why would you show me…" he began, but it was not his mouth that moved, but the mouth of the dragon. It was not his voice, but an awful one, like a roll of thunder.

At once he understood.

"All of this could be yours, Spike, if you would give us your strength," spoke the three voices in unison, in a hopeful tone.

The dragon looked down, saw the strength in him, saw how powerful he was. But as Spike, no, not Spike, this mockery of Spike, what a regular dragon would want…as this parody looked down he saw her there, crying.

There was Twilight, kneeling before him. Crying at his presence, terrified of him. He looked to her and she bowed lower, begged him for mercy as she wailed in fear and uncertainty.

Spike curled his lip, the lip of that monstrous dragon, and spoke, "You can not…" he said in that voice, taking a step forward in the bulking form.

"No!" cried the three voices, now in panic.

"You can not…" spoke that dragon, taking steps forward, that false world falling away in front of it.

"…even begin to imagine by how far you missed your guess," said Spike, walking away from the black expanse. The voices of the princesses called to him, and he saw the brass gate closing, now not much wider than himself.

Spike gave a quick sneer to the wall of onyx, and then ran. He ran as fast as he could, first on two legs, and then on all four. In bounding strides he cleared the sill of the gate and then leapt past the doors.

He cleared them in fine fashion, not touching either one as he sailed through, his back firmly turned on the vision that the intruders in the wall had presented him.

He came before the princesses; their horns already alight, working their magic over the forlorn figure of Twilight. As he approached them the gate closed behind him with a massive booming sound, one that echoed through the cavernous space.

He held his hands over his mouth as he looked at her, saw the burns…

"Spike," said Luna, "don't be fearful, look."

He leaned in closer, and as their magic wafted over Twilight the burns fell away, her purple hue returning. The pain melted off her face, replaced by a quiet stillness.

"Oh Twilight…what…" he began, looking down to her, the princesses kneeling on either side of him.

A new threat reached them, and around them great groaning sounds were audible.

"Come," said Celestia, rising up, "the temple is closing, returning to rock. We must be off."

Around them the rock face crept in, enveloping the carved plants and the great pillars.

"We'll never make it to the archway!" called Spike, clutching at Twilight's still form once more. He quickly looked up to the sisters to see their horns already alight, powerful magic swirling about them, lowing over the group.

"Oh, right," he said, closing his eyes, exhaling.

In a flash of magic the Sister Sovereigns, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike flashed out of the Temple at the Heart of the Mountain. As it closed in on itself the Gate of Brass was placed once again into a lonely stillness, undisturbed and as alone as any other tomb.

Twilight Sparkle felt the presence of others near her. A great sound of movement surrounded her. She did not open her eyes at first, not knowing what would be there. Instead she listened…

"…and if we had crossed the sill we would have become as they," spoke the voice of Princess Luna, softly and with a hint of resignation.

"I'm…I'm afraid I don't quite…" replied the voice of Spike, sounding confused.

Nearby the melodic laughter of Celestia let Twilight know that all was all right. Her teacher's voice filled her, and as Celestia spoke she regained strength, "More aged and learned scholars than yourself have struggled with it, Spike. You should be proud of how you…oh, look! The sleeper has awakened!"

"Twi, Twi!" called Spike, leaping to her as she raised her head. She let him embrace her as she gathered in her surroundings.

They were lying on the great dais where the sisters raised and lowered their elements, seated on the long cushions. Twilight looked to see the red band of the sun gathered at the edge of the Eastern Mountains, awaiting the deep magic of Celestia.

"Sister," spoke Luna, "I wane."

"And I dawn," said Celestia, and with that her eyes became brighter, and the sun moved up over the mountains. So it was that a new day broke over Equestria.

Twilight, wobbling, turned towards the view beyond. As the great river parted around them and spilled past the sides of the dais to the earth below she looked into the distance. There in the far, far distance the last few lights of Ponyville shown through the morning mist.

"Twilight," spoke Celestia, leaning closer. "Are you well?"

Twilight shook her head, Spike finally releasing her, looking up to her with worried eyes.

"You must have questions. I will try to answer…"

"I want to go home."


"I…I want to go home!" bawled Twilight Sparkle, falling over into the great white flank of her teacher, crying into her side with heaving sobs.

Celestia embraced her, and all there on the dais moved closer, put their clawed hands and hooves upon her as she wailed.

"Of course…of course, my beloved student," said the elder sister, "You've diligently and faithfully completed your work here. As you always have."

Twilight tried to control her tears, tried to listen. She gathered herself up and looked to her mentor with big tears still running down her face.

"Forgive me, my student, forgive me…" said Celestia, a pained expression passing over her.

"Forgive…forgive, but… I broke my…prom, promise not to touch…" stammered Twilight through her sobs.

"I was wrong. I was too…proud…I had assumed because you had the dream that you were prepared to face the Heart of the Mountain, and through most of it you performed marvelously," said Celestia, laying her head alongside Twilight's, "and you as well Spike."

The dragon blushed and ran his foot back and forth across the dais floor.

"But, in my arrogance I assumed I had already given you enough practice at being in the presence of Deep Magic, but…but I had not…and it called to you in ways you were simply not prepared to anticipate. Forgive me."

Twilight looked upon the face of her teacher. She tried to picture the magnificent alicorn as the tiny pink and white foal again, to see that world which the gate had shown her. But, as always, the majestic and graceful form filled her eyes.

"You are as ever, too kind, my princess," said Twilight Sparkle, "I have trusted that you would tell me if there was anything wrong, I should not have snuck after you, I should not have dragged Spike along when he knew better…" she said, nuzzling him.

"I do trust you, and you will be better prepared next time, I promise," said Celestia.

"Next time?!" shouted Spike and Twilight in unison, in a voice so distraught that passing unicorns looked up to the dais in alarm.

The princesses looked to them, and the two sat. For long moments all was silent, and together the four watched as day crept over the lands over which the Two Sister Sovereigns held dominion. The reigns of Procer Celestia Invictus and Procer Luna Revenio, the two greatest living alicorns, yet not the two greatest alicorns to have lived, moved forward.

"The Heart of the Mountain would not have shown you what it did without reason, Twilight, and if not for the intrusion of those who tainted your vision who knows what else you would have learned…"

Twilight struggled with this, trying to put pieces together.

"If you had not been in danger of being closed behind the doors and cast into the blackness, down into the death-like dreaming, if you had been stronger the Heart would have shown you much beyond what you had witnessed…you should be proud you were strong enough to see what you saw and come out of there as unscathed as you are…"

"Why?" interrupted Spike, "What did Twilight see?"

There was no answer, and Spike wrapped his tail around himself self-consciously.

"I know what you saw as well, Spike, what those who marred the Heart offered you," said Celestia. Spike clenched his teeth in painful embarrassment, hating the idea that his sovereign should see such things. "I know the choice you made, and the quality of your heart," said Celestia, moving her noble head to face him.

"There is none whom I would rather have in the service of my designate, Spike. You are a little dragon," she said, affixing him with a kiss that made him blush as brightly as the dawning sun, "but a little dragon is a dragon none the less, and they are always true to their hearts."

Twilight fought to her feet, shaking still.

"Princess Celestia…do, do I really need to face that again. Must I?"

"Yes," answered the princess, looking to her from where she kneeled, "But the next time you will be better prepared, and so will all of my students whom still await. The Heart can not protect us forever, and that they were able to mar the Heart at your approach shows that they are moving faster than I had hoped…but they have played their hand too early in revealing themselves so…"

Twilight looked to her mentor in bewilderment. "I don't…I don't understand," she said, wrinkling her nose.

With a great sigh Celestia looked out over her domain, and then back to Twilight. "I know…and this knowledge, what you have seen, would be a burden to you, until you were strong enough to understand it…"

Twilight kneeled before her teacher once more, and Celestia gathered her to her again.

"And so, Twilight I ask that you let me lift it from you until such time as you are able to better understand."

Twilight thought, reflected, and then nodded.

Soon she felt the noble head of her teacher touching hers, and she was glad of it.

"You as well Spike," spoke Princess Luna, yawning.

"Oh, okay…ummm," said the dragon turning towards her.

Luna gathered a blushing Spike to her, and laid her head to his. With an ignition of magic the two sisters spoke one word…


…and a purple shaft of light, visible all the way to Ponyville, erupted from the four.

It was in Canterlot, that famous and fabled city, where Twilight Sparkle was made to forget the gate.

Canterlot, that shining city, that city where magic deep and powerful flows just as freely as the water that ripples through its canals and slipways. It was there where Twilight had the gate put out of her mind, at least until she would need to remember it. It was in that city, capital and throne of the Two Sisters, where the Gate of Brass slept in its grave, awaiting the day it would be called upon to reveal all.

Having returned to Canterlot for official purposes, Twilight and Spike grow increasingly ready to go back home to Ponyville. Yet, when Twilight recognizes signs of distress in the Sister Sovereigns, the princesses Celestia and Luna, her curiosity gets the better of her.

What she finds shows her more about her teacher than she could have dreamed...yet places her in tremendous danger...

Find all of the chapters of "Heart of the Mountain" by following this link!

Just visiting DeviantArt and you'd like to tell me how horrible this story is? Don't have a DA account and you'd like to leave me some comments, critiques, criticisms or flaming bags of doggy-doo? You can find the story and a comment section on Equestria Daily here...


...and here on Equestria Forums!


See you there!
(C) Hasbro Studios, used in parody in satire with respect to copyright.
Add a Comment:
aedificatoris Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Sorry, but here is another Tolkien quote that I thought appropriate:

"[The Hobbits] had begun to forget: forget their own beginnings and legends, forget what little they had known about the greatness of the world. It was not yet gone, but it was getting buried: the memory of the high and perilous. But you cannot teach that sort of thing to a whole people quickly. There was not time. And anyway you must begin at some point, with one person. I dare say he was 'chosen' and I was only chosen to choose him; but I picked Bilbo."

Replace "Hobbits" with "Ponies" and "Bilbo" with "Twilight"...And I think it works quite well!
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed, the worst mistake people make when try to forge a mythology is "telling" too much right away and not taking the time to "show".
KurseofKings Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
The voices that tried to tempt Twilight and Spike... They were the Witches, weren't they?
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yup! Good catch!:)
KurseofKings Featured By Owner May 28, 2012
In that case, I now cannot wait to see the stories that actually feature them even more.
MrMenelausRedz Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
Right now I am trying to find the right words to say after reading a piece of work such as this. The only thing that I can think of is "Wow!" but that is not satisfying enough to leave it at that. And all I have to say about that is TOO BAD! HA!
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, Redz, you know that I appreciate it!
MrMenelausRedz Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012
You are most welcome TD.
MrMenelausRedz Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
Sorry, had to get some sort of jab in since where I am it is April Fool's Day for another 14 minutes. :P

Back to the story. I was disappointed and saddened that you just ended the story like that but at the same time it just works that way. After considering the different possibilities for different endings, I can't think of a better one that is left somewhat opened ended for a possible sequel later on. Speaking of which, I hope that someday you will do so, that is...if you want to of course.

I recall you saying that people had problems with Celestia and Luna making Twilight and Spike forget the events of this story but personally I am fine with it. I mean if they had not done so, Twi and Spike probably would have developed a bad case of PTSD or something from the visions that they saw. And no one wants that to happen.

Your depiction of Spike in all of the stories of yours that I have read is just...fitting of how it should be done. Canon and Non-canon.

The only thing that is really bothering me right now is the fact that you said in one of your earlier journals that there is a reference of this in 'Tangled Up In Blues' and for the life of me I cannot figure it out. Looks like I am going to reread that awesome story again. Not that I am opposed to do so in the first place since I was going to anyway. This just give me an excuse now. :)

Apart from that, job well done Sir! I highly enjoyed this story.
RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well written, if it a bit cliche' occult

The 'sequel hook' potential of this is great, and leaves me wanting more.

The visions they gave to Spike seemed... really stupid. I mean, if they wanted to corrupt him, why would they have him harm the one person he cares for?

The correct answer, i believe, is that they either self-sabotaged their own attempt (or one did), or that they wanted Spike to forsake his connections to the ponies and defect to them.

The "Song of Syhlex" seems to indicate that Celestia was in a VERY large scale war: She defeated all but two of the Sons and Syhlex at the same time, but yet was backed up by an immense army. Further, she would have known that the dragons wouldn't fear an army of ponies at all, so that indicates that she didn't bring them along to intimidate the dragons. Plus, she was hoping to avoid a fight.

This raises another point: What reason would Celestia have to stay in Canterlot when multiple wars are being fought on multiple fronts. She is effectively a god, she could probably end the wars just by showing up. A point could be raised that she is needed to calm the populace, perform the Sun Raising, and attend political issues, but why was she with her army in the "Song of Syhlex" then? She can clearly raise the Sun and perform other duties: We have no indication that it takes any amount of concentration to keep the Sun moving across the sky once it's raised. To this, i would hazard a guess to say that she has imprisoned more things than Discord and Nightmare Moon, and feels that the damage caused if whatever-they-are breaks free is of far more concern to her.

The temple seems to grant omniscence and immense power to the person within it, and the spell sealing the temple is of a higher level magic than anything else yet seen, possibly barring the Elements of Harmony. Luna, Celestia, Twilight, and Spike combined were only able to slightly delay the sealing of the gateway, and they bowed in deference to their father. This seems to indicate that he may be a keeper of the gateway of magic, from which power is drawn. Another possibility is that he is the one who forged the elements themselves, and the gateway is to ensure that nothing of that power can be forged again.

In Spike's chat with Discord, he found a relic hammer that (supposedly) had enough power to shatter the immortal trickster god. Big deal, he's stone, right? Well no, the most powerful magic in the show - the Elements of Harmony - can't even kill him. Whatever enchanted or made that magical hammer had to have been stronger than Discord, who can alter the very rules of reality. Of course, the only thing that can exceed 'altering' the rules of reality would be something who 'makes' the rules of reality - an actual God. My theory, then, is that the hammer may well have something to do with the father and the gate.

The only reason Luna and Celestia WOULDN'T use the hammer on Discord is if Discord was a cornerstone to reality (a likely possibility) or that he kept something else in check. It's possible that Discord is a release valve for the raw magical energy of... something. He certainly wasn't efficient with what he did: He would choose whatever was 'funniest' or 'most chaotic', to hell with the magical energy required. It was implied in the show proper that he 'fights' his stone tomb, and thus is probably expending magic to do so.

The fact that the unicorns were the ones who were within the gate seems to indicate that this does, indeed, have something to do with magic. Perhaps even cutie marks are 'channeled magic' that 'eat up' the excess. You have written before about 'waste magic', magic that isn't used up in a spell. It must go somewhere, or at the very least get created by something, perhaps cutie marks are a curb to the waste magic? That's unrelated i suppose.

The father seems to exist in the higher plane, or deep in the past. Perhaps this has an elvish theme to it then: The alicorns overused magic, and the waste magic festered and grew until someone found a way to harvest magic directly from its source. They went mad, and the being was sealed away. Luna and Celestia long since fleed that scorched world, and the Elements of Harmony were brought with them to ensure they would be able to seal threats before they escalated. The stars are those broken, magically burning worlds, and that's why they seem to be granting wicked beings a chance... as well as redemption: Magic alone is not good or evil, after all.

Stay out of the deeps, as i say.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I genuinely appreciate that you are attempting to make sense of my fanon, and I really, really appreciate that you view it as something of enough value to attempt to piece together.

The unfortunate truth is that I can't give you too much information without giving away all of my fanon, and therefore spoiling much of what I'm intending to do with some of my stories.

I can say this... your observation about the "Elvish" resemblance is very true. In my fanon there were once more alicorns, but they have had to surrender their physical lives, but not their worldly immortality, to protect all of the "children" from a greater harm.

Celesti and Luna are special among those alicorns in that they were birthed for their purpose, rather than receiving a purpose via deep magic. This is why they are seemingly immortal and apparently divine.

Having read The Song of Syhlex and Variables I think you can guess who the voices inside the gates were!;)
The reason that Celestia and Luna could simply not use their strength is because they were dealing with forces that were their equal, ones that if they went "all out" could potentially rip continents apart. They need their army, both sides, because it behooves them to let these forces engage in combat and use their strength to protect and do combat in that manner than risk planetary annihilation... "unleash the chains of the sky" as Celestia said in Dear Idiot.

Once again, I'm sorry I can't give you much more... but I would like to say that when you're dealing with any of my works you'll usually do better by looking to lofty motives. Their father, mother, and all of the other alicorns gave their worldly lives in an act of love... not madness.

Other than that, keep guessing, it's great fun!
RadiantVoid Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
StevenFox6 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Just finished this--wow. A lot of intriguing questions raised here, and suspense that kept me reading.
I don't suppose there's going to be a sequel to this?
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The entirety of my personal fanon is based on this story (if you look closely, you'll see that this story is now over a year old). There's no direct sequel, but there's very strong hints about this in Variables and The Song of Syhlex is you're interested in some more reading.

Thanks for taking the time to reply! I appreciate it!:)
StevenFox6 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, I see!
Yeah, I'll look more closely next time. ^^;

Ha, no prob. I hate it when I don't get comments on my work, so I try to comment on others'.
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
Yep, beautiful describes this fanfic quite succinctly. There's nothing I can say that no one else has (wish I could claim to be the first to say "descriptive language and embedded concepts", but oh, well). This gave me similar vibes to what I felt when reading The Once and Future King. Did you look to any major fantasy stories for inspiration?

I love that the dark beings beyond the gate so completely misjudged Spike's fantasies, and how he reacted to it. It's also good that we got a clear explanation for why the Sisters didn't anticipate Twilight's seduction.

All of your stories are good, but this is the only one so far that's straight up high fantasy. I hope you'll write more in this genre.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for your comments!

I love fantasy, and the old stories about "the king in the mountain" played a huge part in this story.

I've dropped a lot of hints in my stories since about who the figures who've marred the Heart may be, and why hey'd want the assistance of someone still living. I'm glad that and Twilight's inability to deal with the deep magic seemed to work for you!:)

I'd very much like to write more like this, but I'm desperately, horribly afraid of what Princess Cadence is going to do to my personal fanon. So, if anything of my "headcanon" survives the season finale you can expect more! Thanks for reading and commenting!:)
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
Is Princess Cadence's presence (that's a mouthful) in the series seriously official? If that's the case, I'm excited for it. So far, the MLP team have been pretty diligent in crafting their mythology and the origins of Equestrian holidays, so I'm interested to see what role she's going to play. Also... :iconireallylikehermane: I really like her name! Cadence ... That's a nice word.

I also hope it doesn't clash with your headcanon, though. Fingers crossed!
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, she's pretty much official as far as I can see. She's going to be in either the last two parter of this season or the next of the first.

My big fear is that she seems like such a perfect example of potential "Executive Meddling". She's pink, she's a princess, she's gonna have a royal wedding. It's like a stereotype of everything people think nine year old girls enjoy watching.

The crew has done some amazing things, but pulling off something that comes from "Orders on High" might even be beyond them, and the very fact she's an alicorn already throws a major monkey-wrench in my personal fanon.

Oh well, maybe I'm over-reacting? It's happened before!;)
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
If only Steven Moffat and Joss Whedon were writing for FiM, then we would have nothing to worry about! And a lot to celebrate.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Perhaps... though I'd wonder how the fandom would react to getting Jossed!:-?
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
The post-Derpy's-voice storm was handled relatively well. If it happens again, we'll be better equipped to deal with it.
Giantmako Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Fine work indeed. I must apologize for having not commented on one of your stories in a while. Though i didn't find this one as emotionally moving as some of the others I've read, i still enjoyed it greatly.

I liked the backstory, and lore that you put into Equestria's past, and the ominous threat that looms over the horizon in a not so distant future.

Noticed the "Forget" and couldn't help but wonder if possible this ties into 'Variables' in some fashion possibly. And it really made me smile when Spike expressed just how badly the three voices misunderstood him, and what would make him happy.

Makes me want to see a sequel, but then again the left open to the reader's imagination ending works too.

As always a good read, and one worth talking about.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It very much indeed does dovetail into that scene from "Variables", well spotted!:)

Having read "Variables", I am wondering, would you like to be the first to guess who the voices were that Spike rejected?

This was my first Pony story, and as you can see my stories have changed a bit. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with these characters, so it didn't "pack the same punch" as you noted.

Really enjoying having your comments to read! Thanks so much!:)
Giantmako Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy that i was able to deduce that little part.

I'll take a crack at it though i'm unsure whether or not i got it figured all the way.

I'd like to say that the voices belonged to the draconiquis, spirits, and witches that all turned on the ponies when Discord decided that he the ' experiment ' was far too boring for his liking.

Kind of a shakey answer but the best one i can come up with besides just shooting for " Just the Witches ".

Really it was your first?! I mean yeah it didn't pull me emotionally like the others did but it was still so good. To think that it was your first Pony story before all the others is amazing. Leages better than mine which was just a cute oneshot between Spike, and Pinkie Pie and that's title was typically a unconscious knockoff of MagaSpark's " Feathers And Scales "

Your quite welcome, always enjoy commenting, and the little discussions we have afterwards. :D
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's the Witche, well done!;)

This is my first Pony story, and as such holds a special place in my heart. The next one I wrote after this one, Sew Being What We Sew When We Sow was actually an older concept than this one but was written second, and that one is very dear to me too.

I shall have to read Of Doughnuts and Games when I get some free time!:)
Giantmako Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aha! Lucky me then. :D

I'll have to read that one then, course now i wish i had started reading your work in chronological order now instead of just at random.

Oh take your take that fanfic isn't going anywhere, though your viewpoint on it will be greatly appreciated.
DawnAboveHeaven Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
awesome, I really want to see a follow up to this story
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
All of my stories have themes that began here, but we'll have to see how much damage "Hearth's Warming Day" does to my personal fanon before I try a longer work based on this.;)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!:)
DawnAboveHeaven Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome and I don't think that would be an issue, I'll be ready and waiting for a follow if/when it comes.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Maddog3060 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011
Will you write more to elaborate on this or is this one of those "mystery never dispelled" stories? Not that I mind either way, just curious about it.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
All of my stories contain hints about the background information which I presented personal fanon is based on this fic, which is why I made it my first. A fic I'm aiming to get out next year will be very, very detailed about the ideas I've presented (if the show doesn't rip them apart), but a true "sequel" isn't in the offering at the moment.

Thanks for reading and commenting!:)
Maddog3060 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2011
Ah, interesting.

And yup. Came across several of your stories on EQD's archived post page. Must say I'm impressed, "A Cup of Joe" was especially awesome. After seeing more good stuff I had to watch ya here.

So jus' keep up that thar good work when ya got time.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm very glad that you found my trifling works worth your time to research and read. Yes, I knew A Cup of Joe was one of my better ones when Seth said :Just read it" in the info line!:D

I'm working whenever I can on new stories. I hope to see you back here when they come out. Thanks!:)
Maddog3060 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2011
As a writer myself, I doubt the work you put into them was "trifling." ;p
LongshotLink Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, another of your fics that make me extremely proud of Spike. He has so much potential, I hope he gets more screen time this next season. But now I'm intrigued at this plot (story and scheme) you've hinted at in this. It almost seems above me to ask for more.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Hardly above you, good sir!:)

I'm always working towards the fanon that I presented in this, my fist pony fic. There's a big one underway that I've been working on for months on and off that really gets into it.

Anywho, that's in the future. Agreed about Spike's potential!
LongshotLink Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Well then, looks as though I have something exciting to look forward to.
EvilCleric Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
Excellent work, my good man...or woman. I dunno. Nicely done all around, though you did do one of the few things I absolutely abhor in writing: making the protagonist forget everything that had just happened. Do not know why, I just personally find it to be almost as bad as the ever hated It-was-a-dream-all-along thing.
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Well, there's a good reason why they had to forget, but it will make sense as future fics unfold. That was the first time I did something like that, the second was in "The Purple Mare" and the reactions were pretty much like yours.

Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it!:)

Manly Man,
tamanou Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
You make Equestria out to be High Fantasy in a very good way, which I appreciate. This is very beautiful; you hint but does not show at the great age of the alicorns and things that came before. I like it when fanfic authors make the Princesses out to be, for lack of a better world, cosmic. Very good work!
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this fic. This was my first one I'd written for the MLP:FiM fandom, and as such it occupies a special place in my heart.

I love the ability to work with the Sister Sovereigns. As you said, they allow for some pretty decent High Fantasy. If you liked this work I hope you check back in August when I release a huge tale about the princesses.

Thanks for reading!:)
tamanou Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
You are welcome. :)
DuplexFields Featured By Owner May 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This was amazing. I've read fantasy fiction before, but the descriptive language and embedded concepts blew me away.

Is this in the same continuity as your most recent, or do they merely share a few things?
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner May 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the compliment!

Certain elements are shared, yes. Basically anything dealing with the politics and the background myths of the show are part of my personal "fanon". There's a pretty deep and amazing bit of mythology hiding in this show about colorful ponies!;)
DuplexFields Featured By Owner May 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
The only consistent things in my personal fanon are that Scootaloo is Fluttershy's younger sister, and that earthpony has no space and is linguistically equivalent to pegasus and unicorn.
ShadowLegionnaire Featured By Owner May 5, 2011  Student Writer
Fantabulous reading, I tell you ^^
Will there be a sequel?
TheDescendantofKehAn Featured By Owner May 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Well I am glad you enjoyed!

I have a stack of index cards here on my desk of ideas for stories. A sequel isn't one of them but that doesn't mean I can't add a card, eh?;)
ShadowLegionnaire Featured By Owner May 5, 2011  Student Writer
Cool :D
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